In the patriarchal society in which we’ve existed for the last few thousand years, the value of pleasure has been made redundant. In some societies, even today, pleasure, talk of pleasure, and acts of feminine self pleasure is banned, socially SOMETHING, and even criminal.
How did we wander so far away from our birthright and natural state of pleasure as a woman, and what can we do about it?
The feminine principle is nourished by pleasure. Far beyond simply belonging to women, the feminine principle within all beings needs pleasure. It exists and thrives on pleasure. Pleasure is a feeling state, experienced within the body and the mind, that flips the switch from the fight-or-flight, sympathetic nervous system response, to the deep rest-and-digest state of the calm parasympathetic response.
Outcome orientation and goal focus is the nourishment of the masculine principle. And although it serves us greatly, and many feminine identifying people today have also learned how to develop their masculine to achieve in our world, it is a depleting state for the feminine.
Pleasure returns the feminine to its true state, one of creativity, one of being, of existing, and is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress that we have access to.
Far beyond simple hedonism and selfish pursuit of pleasure, is the deep, soul nourishing, connected to all-that-is states of pleasure that exist within the body, mind and spirit. Alleviating the states of stress and sympathetic nervous system activations, our bodies respond powerfully on a biochemical level to pleasure.
So how do we reach these intoxicating states of embodied bliss?
REST: Do less, and be more. Simply making spaciousness in your schedule, to put down the phone, put away the laptop, turn away from the to do list, and simply rest. This may seem simple, but can be hard to access for many. We can often feel guilty, or that we are not valuable for not contributing, however, there it limitless value in rest. All things in nature go through cycles of rest, as we restore, rejuvenate, and perhaps contemplate. Through the spaciousness created in rest comes great opportunity, insight, healing, and most importantly: pleasure.
PLAY: Play is the lack of outcome orientation. Another birth rite that has been stripped from our social standards, and work environments, telling us to focus on productivity and outcomes. All creatures play. This might look like a fun tussle with a loved one, some art or creativity that has no goal, some non competitive exercise with a friend, or perhaps sexual exploration.
NATURE: We are a part of nature, not something separate to it. By remembering that we are part of nature we can immerse ourselves in it for the healing and pleasure potential. Feel the sun on your face. Allow the wind to blow your hair. Appreciate the beauty of flowers or the exquisite art form of a spiders web. Make a herbal tea, grow a garden, breathe in the fresh air of a nature walk.
FOOD: Food is a great source of pleasure for many, and also a source of punishment. By coming into right relationship with food, seeing it as a nourishing and healing gift from the earth, will help us remove the guilt and shame and complexity we have come to relate to food. Slow down, enjoy the process. Cook with love, eat with love. Savour the texture, the taste, the flavours and the colours of your food. Eat for pleasure and notice how much more sustained and satiated you are.
SHARE YOUR GIFTS: Doing what we were born to do is inherently pleasurable. We each have gifts so inherent sometimes we don’t even notice that they are valuable. What puts you into flow state? What can you do effortlessly without even trying? Noticing the way that your contribution makes a positive impact on others without it being work or goal oriented, but simply for the pleasure of it, creates a wonderful biochemical response in the body. We all feel good when we do good for others.
SEX AND SENSUALITY: Perhaps the most commonly thought of access to pleasure is our sexuality. However, our sexuality has also been conditioned to be goal oriented and plagued with guilt, shame, complexity and trauma. Reclaiming our sexual pleasure for ouselves, healing from our past traumas, reclaiming our bodies, slowing down, learning about our sexual potential and our body’s miraculous potential for states of bliss and ecstacy, means that we can live in an embodied state of pleasure 24/7. Touch yourself for pleasure, bath yourself for pleasure, invite sensuality into your life, and watch how it transforms your entire reality.
We are blessed to be walking pleasure machines. Our capacity to experience pleasure is limitless. That means we will never experience the limit to our pleasure. There is always more.
How much pleasure do you allow yourself to feel? Give yourself permission, and feel pleasure more and more and more.
Erin Kyna is a trauma informed sexuality healer, coach, teacher and poet, liberating women to experience their pleasure potential in all areas of life including sex.
Her journey has been one of a coach and healer on the path to empowerment for the last ten years, travelling the world, and guiding other women along their path as she follows hers.
Erin believes we all have the goddess inside of us. The goddess who is sacred, feminine, powerful, pleasured, insatiable, divine, empowered, free, wild, sensual, confident, and radiant....
It is her pleasure and honour to initiate women all around the world to embody their inner goddess and their highest potential in all areas of life, including their sexual potential.
Erin is the host of the Sex and Healing Podcast, proudly transforming listener’s lives with her wisdom and stories, in over 50 countries around the world.
Join Erin for her upcoming Pleasure Challenge on March 1-3, 2022